Are you a speedsofter? Are you fast as fuck, boy? I bet you are. That’s why you need something soft as fuck, boy! This cotton/polyester hoodie will keep you warm while you’re rushing 12-year-olds on the other team. The hood helps hide your face from those around you, to help reduce shame. The stitched-in front pocket can be used as a hand-warmer, or as a tactical pouch for your gas, magazines, and vape pens.

If you’re just a comrade looking for a neat-ass hoodie, then here ya go, pardner.

• 70% polyester, 27% cotton, 3% elastane
• Fabric weight: 8.85 oz/yd² (300 g/m²), weight may vary by 5%
• Soft cotton-feel fabric face
• Brushed fleece fabric inside
• Double-lined hood with design on both sides
• Unisex style
• Comes with drawstrings
• Overlock seams
• Blank product components sourced from Poland and Mexico